Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just want nice things and good sex
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
