Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
