Me too!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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