wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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