i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
