My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
