The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
