If i come over, it means nothing
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize