Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
