Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
