she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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