she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
