we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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