I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize