It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
