I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
