id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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