Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
