doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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