you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Randomize
