That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
