We got so high we made milksteak
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
