Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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