Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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