You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Randomize
