Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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