I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
