I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
