My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
