he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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