I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
