you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
