Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
