Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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