So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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