Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
