I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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