ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
