I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
