white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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