Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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