I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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