i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
