So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
