were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize