So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
