No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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