VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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