I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
