It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
