I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
