This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
