3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
