I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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