We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
