He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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