Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
