Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
