Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
