i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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