As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
