dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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